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Loco4Cocoa
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Name: Katy
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Modesto
Birthday: 2/8/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: Sunshine. Summer dresses. Bao, especially when it Wows. Looking up. Reading by the lake. S'more Sundaes. People who are funny (probably you). Wedding shows. Baking. Reading and writing good poetry (sometimes bad too). The Bachelorette. Adventuring off to new places. Adventuring all over Chicago. The 44th Ward Dinner Party. Personality tests, as usual- thanks to Ashleigh we have a new one called the Enneagram, google it sometime then tell me what you are- I'm a "four." Clean sheets. White Cheddar Rice Cakes. Non-rain. Missed Connections, especially now :) Flip flop tan lines. Butterfly Assassins (the band, not actual hit men for butterflies, that would just be sad). Chicagoans in the summer- they're so much more happy. The yoosh- weekend Woolius Jeinl and Anthro (also the word "yoosh"). Free iphone apps. Pencil Skirts and Sheath Dresses. Tea- black for morning, green for afternoon, oolong for a treat, Fruhlingzauber for weekends.
Message: message me
Member Since:
6/13/2004
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| Because I'm feeling so unsettled these days- job, housing, etc- I'm not going to post an entry about me this week. Most of you know how I get when I'm worried- it would just be all random and whiny and emotional. Not to mention if I were to talk about anything having to do with Halloween it would only be a depressing reflection on what life was like this time last year. No one wants that, so instead--
I think all I'm going to do is post a few of my favorite Missed Connections because they make me happy (and who doesn't love to read a good MC??) Before I do, we pause for one shameless plug:
**Shameless plug** Be sure to check out Inklings if you haven't yet, or in awhile! We're having a lot of fun with it, and getting some great feedback from people that they're enjoying reading it as well so we're thrilled! I made Megan post one of her poems this week (since she made me post 2 already) so enjoy! My favorite line from her poem this week:
"That man over there, you think
he's like your Act IV, you can't
rewrite men, make them Romeo."
Agh! Love it! Okay- onto the Missed Connections. Last week's was sad so let's do a couple funny ones first.
You took my potato - m4w - 39
We were in that bar and smiled at each other. We even chatted a bit. You looked so cute when you covered your mouth as you laughed.
Then you did it. When I looked away to the bartender, you took the potato off my plate. You didn't have enough time to eat it. You must have wrapped it and put in in your bag. Did you think I wouldn't notice? True, I didn't say a word. I was too stunned. Then you left. I didn't even get your number. I just felt like a total potato loser.
Why didn't you just ask me for it? I would have gladly given it to you.
* Total Potato Loser??? It CRACKS me up!!
You keep leaving notes on my bike. - m4w (Noble Square)
... and it's charming. Makes my evening and all that.
Still, my list of potential secret admirers/stalkers/etc. is slim enough to be nonexistent, so who are you?
* What a great way to have a secret admirer, and I love that he admits his list is slim, haha.
Whitecastle -addison and kedzie - m4w
you looked in your mirror, and then turned your phone and took a picture of me......why? i am sorry i was looking at you, i thought you were very pretty.
* Stalkers beware- we may be pretty, but we WILL take pictures of you in the White Castle drive in. I also wonder if maybe she was taking a picture of him because she thought HE was pretty, and he doesn't even consider this option! Poor guy!
Creeping On You Last Night - m4w - 23 (Wicker Park)
I was drunkenly hitting on you at 3am last night (Friday) at the Flat Iron. I thought I was being smooth, but I was probably being a creep. I am the tall goofy engineer, you were a cute girl working in human resources. I understand why you went to the bathroom and never came back. Have a nice weekend!
* At least he understands, and is nice about it. Haha.
One sad one:
I miss my friend. - m4w (chicago)
She's a smart cookie. She plays piano, wants to cure Alzheimer's disease, looks prettier than anything, and apparently still hates my guts. Sucks that some people never let things go. But then, I guess this post is a sign that I won't either.
* As one who has trouble letting things go, it makes me so sad. Also makes me want to know what he did to make her hate him so much and yet he still somehow loves her...
Now for one last cute, if somewhat strange, one:
If we ever met in a stairway again.............. - m4w
I would kiss you sooo hard!
* I don't know why this guy is meeting girls in stairways, but I think I wouldn't mind meeting him in one, that's for sure!
Hope you like them! If you're ever perusing the MC's in any city and find a good one- send it my way! Can't get enough of em!
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| I started my job on Thursday so I've had four days of work. Such a crazy four days (and the weekend two in between). I stayed at my grandparents house Wed-Fri night so that I'd be slightly closer to work. Even so, my commute was about 2.5 hours the first day and like 2 the second day. Each way. That is just way too long. I haven't been that exhausted in a long time. (Probably not since pulling an all nighter to write Chapman's History 1 paper or studying for the Medieval Mediterranean final, haha). This week I'm staying in a hotel closer to San Francisco so it only takes me about an hour to commute, which I don't mind at all. Especially now that I have some manuscripts to read on the way home :) I'm enjoying being only a couple hour drive away from home too- I was able to go home for one night this weekend, and it was a really good feeling.
Besides the commute, work is interesting but there is a crazy learning curve, and I am definitely on the upward climb of that. Don't ask me what I do because I am not completely sure yet. So far I get flooded with emails and people request things from me that don't make sense, haha. BUT- I am surrounded with books, so that's pretty great. And I get business cards- makes me feel so official and grown-up. And I'm getting to communicate with some really neat authors, it's really exciting. I am constantly aware that I am extremely lucky to have this job, so I'm trying to work as hard as I can to figure things out and do my best, which right now feels a little lacking since I'm still learning, but I'm trying. The work atmosphere is also a lot different than my last job- much more casual, creative (obviously), and open-toed shoes are allowed. Without socks. Dream. Come. True.
So then there is San Francisco. Being in the city has made me majorly Chicago-homesick. When I was in Modesto, I was surprised that I didn't miss Chicago much. Now I realize it was because I was in a setting where almost nothing reminded me of it- but being in San Francisco is a reminder everyday how SF is not Chicago. Not even close. Well actually, I'd say the people are pretty laid-back like I found them to be in Chicago, but it's still in a more California mellow way. First impressions- a lot more fog, a lot more steep hills, and a lot more Asian restaurants, haha. It's a good thing Asian food is number two on my list of favorite foods! The downtown is different, the neighborhoods feel different (and are actually called "districts"), the public transportation is different, and there are far less easy lunch options. Where is my Jimmy Johns? Where is my Potbelly? Where is my Corner Bakery? Where is my Wow Bao (oh wait, I guess that would be Chinatown up the street...). I'm hoping I'll love the city more once I actually start living in it.
For the times that I become emotional over this, I realize that really, I'm just reacting to a period of transition- new job, nowhere to live, few friends- and it makes me miss the settled life I had in Chicago where I felt like I was good at my job, had friends and a roof over my head that didn't offer turn down service haha. It can only get better from here, right? I'm still excited that this is all happening and look forward to what the future holds.
This is me, signing off from a hotel room in Millbrae. Goodnight.
Oh! I forgot a Missed Connection last week, and almost this week! I haven't started checking the SF MCs yet, so here's another Chi one to keep you going. I'm in a bit of a melancholy mood, so let's choose a little bit of a sad one shall we? This one was a 2-parter, someone wrote the first one, and then someone else responded as follows (and I swear I didn't write the second one, though I probably could have at one point)
One of my fondest memories... - m4w
...is kissing you while it was raining. I rememember hoping for rain for quite some time after that.
Re: One of my fondest memories... - m4w
My fondest memory... "I think I'm falling in love with you." I'll never again hear words that will have the same impact.
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| This will be brief since I need to be getting to bed here shortly. I'm sitting on my hotel balcony, which faces the indoor pool so it's all warm and balmy (I'm a little pretending I'm in Hawaii and not Pennsylvania where it was 55 degrees today), just showered, bags are packed, dad is inside sleeping, and trying to mentally prepare myself to leave vacation tomorrow morning and start my new job on Thursday.
What a whirlwind trip we've had! 11 states. 10 days. 4 major cities and a couple smaller ones. A different hotel almost every night. Beautiful fall colors. Lots of good food and good beer. Good time with the family, and getting to see where Daniel (or as he's known here, Dan) has been working for the past 6 months and meet the people he's been working and living with. So much history, so many monuments, so much walking haha- I haven't been so sore in a really long time. (Seriously- everything from the waist down feels like I'm 80 years old, haha.) We had such gorgeous weather- sunny and 70s most of the time, only getting down into the 60s when we hit Boston which still felt fine and then Vermont and PA were 40s/50s which, I can't complain, at least are warmer than Chicago right now! Also I'm enjoying the fall weather, all the more because I know this beautiful fall weather won't inevitably turn into a horrible winter, like it would if I was living in Chicago still haha. I will try to write more about my trip later (no promises though) and hopefully post a couple pictures (I only took a gazilion so that shouldn't be hard haha).
So tomorrow I get back to real life. I am excited and anxious about starting my job on Thursday, and even more dreading the horrible commute that it's going to be until I find housing up there, which will be no picnic either. But I won't talk about that now. We'll just remember how lucky I am that I even got this job, and go from there.
It's that exciting moment right before everything begins, when the world is wide open to your wildest dreams-
Goodbye East Coast, it's been fun,
Here I come San Francisco, I hope you're ready. | | |
| ** Quick happy update- I got the job!!!! I'm going to be an Editorial Assistant for HarperOne, an imprint of HarperCollins, in San Francisco! I will give more details later!!**
Disclaimer- this is a bit of a sad, wallowing post. Get out now if you are not so inclined to wallow with me a little, haha. (Or if you're Melissa and you've heard all of this more times than anyone should have to. You're the best!)
A year ago today I was going out on a first date with a boy I was crazy about. A year later I'm heading into that season where it seems everywhere I turn there is something that reminds me of him- like pumpkins in the grocery store- and I write to reflect on that and how I'm moving forward.
I need to start by saying that regardless of how hopeless the rest of this post will sound, you need to know that being away from Chicago has been one of the best things ever (in this regard; I still miss Chicago in so many other ways. Just to make it clear, I didn't leave because of him, I know some people thought that, it really was to be closer to my family). Has it been a million times better since I've been home and don't have to see him and have my wounds reopened every single day?? Oh SO much yes. Do I still miss him? Unfortunately, at times yes. Time, my friends, is the only salve. Distance helps, but time is the real healer. Because even here, even in California where I should have NOTHING to associate with him:
- Facebook decides to make the free gift of the day Pringles- and I'm back to him.
- I turn on the radio, and it plays that Dashboard song - and I'm back to him (and changing the station)
- I turn on the TV and without fail see ads for the new Sunny in Philadelphia - and I'm back to him (and changing the channel)
- I catch myself saying "more" instead of "better"- and I'm back to him.
- I go on a date with this one guy who tells me how one of his favorite bands is Blink 182 and he's going to their concert where they are playing with Weezer (seriously?) - and I'm back to him.
- Or I go on a date with this other guy who tells me that he is both a twin AND loves the movie American Psycho (seriously?!) - and I'm back to him.
I guess I thought that not seeing him anymore would kind of erase him from my memory Eternal-Sunshine-of-the-Spotless-Mind-Style... but so far, no such luck. I'm still dreaming about him about once a week, and every dream is a variation on one of two themes. Either he is explaining to me yet again the details of why we broke up and why it was the right decision (in one dream he had even made a movie and showed it to our entire office, haha it was kinda funny) or he has just broken up with his current girlfriend and is coming to tell me he wants me back. No matter how many guys I date, I can't erase the memories of him and how he made me feel. (To be fair, I also recently had a dream that I was dating Uncle Kracker, only he looked like Nick Zano mmmm, so these things aren't always completely reliable. haha)
I finally realized something the other day. So you know how I've been out with what? Like four guys in the past few months? I realized that I don't even want to be in a relationship- I thought I did but my life is so all over the place right now with job stuff and family stuff and possibly moving stuff that adding a guy to that would just be crazy. But I realized that I continue to meet new guys and go out with them because I keep hoping that I'll meet someone that will help me forget him. But it isn't working. No one makes me excited like him, or light up like him, or laugh like him, or want to do anything with and for him. In some ways it's good that I'm dating guys that are so unlike him, because I definitely don't want to date someone like him and risk getting so hurt again, but in other ways- why can't these guys have the good things that I adored about him?
I remember after I came home from my first date with this one guy in Chicago, and he dropped me off and I walked up the stairs and through my door, just like I had months and months ago after my first date with my ex and.... nothing. When my ex dropped me off after that first date, one year ago today, I remember walking- no leaping- up the stairs and through my doorway with the most giddy feeling and a smile on my face that was still there when Melissa came home a couple hours later! But after this date just... nothing! It was even a really good date, we had so much in common, he was such a great guy, would probably treat me way better than my ex ever did- what is wrong with me!? I'm dead inside! It's the only answer, haha.
So here we are. Despite all this, I'm really doing quite well, in general and with this specifically. Letting go and moving on has always been tricky for me, and I'm doing what I can to speed the process up (come on- dating?? You have to be proud of me for that at least!) Nor am I hopeless-- I believe I can not only find most of the things I loved about him, but also in a person who both treats me better and loves me more, so that is something to hold out for. I look at him and know what his life is going to look like for the rest of his life but my life! It's so exciting that in so many ways it's just getting started and there is promise of so much good. Who knows- maybe I'll become the next editor of some big publisher, become the poet laureate, marry Nick Zano and live happily ever after! (A girl can dream...)
But that's that for now. In non-sad news, I'm leaving tomorrow for a ten day trip back to the East Coast! It has been a little stressful trying to plan and get ready for it, but hopefully it should be a lot of fun- maybe I'll even post a couple pictures when I get back (and if not, you always know there will be many Facebook albums, so check them out there! :) ) | | |
| Friends!! I have failed already at the whole "updating once a week" thing. I was going strong there for like... what? 2 or 3 weeks? Oh well, I'm not surprised, haha. Last Monday, Megan and I stayed up late updating Inklings so I didn't get around to doing my own blog, and we probably would have tonight as well except that she was just coming into town from being down in SLO and I was just coming into town from having a job interview in San Fran, so we are postponing the Inklings update until tomorrow.
I will also edit this tomorrow (Tuesday) when I have a second to breathe/process my thoughts. Enjoy this week's entry because I'm pretty sure next week's is going to be much more depressing (you'll see). This week's should be fun and full of interesting "how katy is trying to get a job" trivia- so stay tuned!
**Update**
So last week I finally decided it was time to get going on applying for jobs. I figured 2 weeks in Chicago of doing nothing but having fun plus about 3 weeks at home of doing nothing equaled a pretty good vacation for me and that I should at least try to see what was out there. Anyway I applied for a handful of jobs, maybe like 6, and heard back from a couple, and had a couple phone interviews and then a couple in person interviews, one in Livermore (about an hour away) and one in San Francisco.
I've been a little unsure about if I want to live in San Fran even though I know that if I want an editing job that's where I'm going to have to go. When I got into the city, I sat in Peets drinking my favorite Golden Dragon Oolong tea and watched all the cute San Fran boys walk by (although I don't know why, but so far I swear they're cuter in Chicago! Especially all those Southport boys- mmm I miss them!) and it just felt so familiar and nice. Not because I'm familiar with SF but I've missed being in the city!! The variety, the people, the excitement- it made me realize I might really like living there after all. I still have some things I'm wrestling with, but first I have to get a job there and then I'll figure those out, I guess.
Anyway, I have one more interview tomorrow, and it's kind of an important one, so I'm hoping it goes well! I'm looking at my bank account and employment would be really good soon! There are a few other things going on, but for the most part those are the biggies! Hopefully in the next couple of weeks I will have an update about a job, but for now I'm still enjoying sleeping in, watching my favorite DVR'd shows, hanging out with friends and apparently having tasty legs, because for some reason Riley won't stop licking them right now (weird dog, haha).
Let me leave you with a Missed Connection! I have been so busy that I've dropped the ball in checking them this week, but don't worry, I have a supply that could last us weeks and weeks haha. Okay missed connections can be all sorts of things- I usually like the funny ones, sometimes the heart-wrenching ones, but today I feel like posting one I think is just cute. Simple but cute. I hope you enjoy.
I Hate Fridays Since I Won't See You Till Monday... Maybe (Chicago)
I kind of adore you.
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